e-book Dont Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success

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They are identified and discussed in Chapter Four.


  1. That Cloud Looks Like Jesus.
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The persecutor behaves like a bully and takes no prisoners. No resolutions occur because everyone is afraid to take him or her on. Lafair rigorously examines a total of thirteen of these disruptive characters: That is, they are going through the motions, doing only what they must, "mailing it in," coasting, etc. They are "actively disengaged" in that they are doing whatever they can to undermine their employer's efforts to succeed.

Supervisors who read this book may not have the same percentages among those for whom they are directly responsible the workplace in which they are involved but presumably they do have a number of underperforming workers as well as several toxic workers. Lafair can help those supervisors to increase the number of direct-reports who are positively engaged. This reader-friendly device will facilitate, indeed expedite frequent review of those key points later.


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The table provides a list of sound bites to consider when beginning to practice listening for patterns. You cannot address what you are not aware of, much less respond effectively to what you do not understand.

Don't Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success by Sylvia Lafair

Socrates said it best, "know thyself. With "Don't Bring it to Work-Breaking the Family Patterns that Limit Success" Sylvia Lafair gets to the heart of the conflict matter - the underlying dynamics of our own internal conflict and our interpersonal conflicts at work albeit her book applies easily to our life at home, at play and in all relationship. Like it or not, believe it or not, we bring our family to work - our biography and biology.

And it's our family history that causes us unhappiness, upset, frustration and conflict in our relationships. This awareness is the first step towards healing. Through a guided process, Lafair supports you to explore your history of growing up - people, events, circumstances and places - to discover conflicts and tensions that led to reactive behavioral and thinking patterns which adversely affect "who I am" and "how I am" as you show up in your world at work.

This level of self-awareness, which most self-help and change books seldom broach, is a welcome approach that not only has great merit, but includes an exploratory process that leads one to discover honest, "root cause" elements of folks' personal issues, baggage and stuff - the weak foundation underlying most failed relationships. A therapist and change facilitator, Lafair presents 13 of the more common, unconscious and "invisible" dominant self-limiting, self-destructive and self-sabotaging behavior patterns e.

Through her stories, anecdotes, and observations, Lafair shows how these patterns leak out in our workplace interactions and interrelationships. To the point, when we are operating from these patterns, we are really children in adult bodies wearing adult clothes and there's no wonder we don't get along in the "playground" called work. Our transformation into our True, Real and Authentic self can only happen when we 1 discover these patterns; 2 own them: This book takes us through a guided, well-designed three-step change process.


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The book includes a number of tools and exercises to raise the reader's level of self-awareness - always the first step on the journey of personal change. The book operates as a mirror for the reader to truly "see" their self - uncomfortable warts and all - not to serve to "beat one's self up" - but to serve one's healing process. The first step in the change process is "unconscious incompetence" - we don't know what we don't know. Most folks, who experience failed relationships, do so because they walk through their relationships with blinders, completely unaware of their incompetence.

Lafair moves the reader to the level of "conscious incompetence" learning what patterns are causing conflict , "conscious competence" what to do and how to "be" to positively and effectively change my interpersonal dynamics and "unconscious competence" steps to help me create new patterned ways of be-ing over time. This book will supplement my methodologies in the way I support clients in my coaching work to deal with unhealthy and conflictual situations at work and at home.

All of life is relationship. Lafair's book is a must for those who have experienced failed relationship after failed relationship and want to take an honest journey to both understanding "why" and then doing what it takes to create healthy relationships. Too, I recommend this book for coaches and others who work with others at work, at home and at play to create healthy, conscious and self-responsible relationships. Ozovek "Cathy Ozovek" Pennsylvania.

Don’t Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns that Limit Success, By Sylvia Lafair

I was curious about this book because of the title. I learned pretty quickly the reasons why we have so much trouble separating who we are at home from who we are at work. What is even more interesting, is the fact that it is impossible to separate ourselves if we want to be authentic. This book was eye opening. I had always been taught that to be professional it was important to keep my real feelings to myself and smile, smile a lot. Now I realize that it is certainly good to smile and be cooperative. It is also even more important to learn to tell the truth.

Lafair points out in the book, telling the truth is an art that takes lots of practice, and that "telling the truth is not the same as spilling your guts.

Don’t Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns that Limit Success, By Sylvia Lafair

I have a PhD in psychology with a focus on family therapy. When I realized that we do bring the behavior patterns from our original organization, the family into our present organization, the workplace I knew I had stumbled onto something important. I have dedicated myself to helping leaders and their direct reports become aware of the tired, old behaviors that worked at three or ten years of age yet get in the way of present day grown-up interactions.

I have developed the OUT Technique Observe, Understand Transform as an effective and efficient process to make the work environment productive and collaborative. How is this book different than other books on this topic? This is the first book to identify the 13 most common patterns that correspond to characters familiar to anyone who has ever worked in an office.

Don't Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success

These behaviors are painfully annoying and stir up conflict in any office. The book is filled with a wealth of real-life anecdotes and practical workbook-style exercises that, when followed, empower people to make profound differences both at work and in their personal lives. Is there anything else we should know about this book? It is being used as the text for a leadership program in Ghana as well as several other graduate courses in the states. There are several groups that have begun to use this book as a home study course and it is the basis of the successful Total Leadership Connections Program.

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Abraham Hicks ~ The only way to break patterns and habits☑

By Dan Janal T My clients get terrific results from my coaching, developmental editing and ghostwriting. For info, go to http: How to Get Book Reviews on Amazon. March 15th, 0 Comments. September 30th, 0 Comments.