Hi I have a 22 month old who is recently waking in the night and cannot fall back asleep no matter what. We moved to a new house in March about 4 months ago , and at that time moved him to a toddler bed, in his own room, got very strict about no more co-bedding and sticking with the bedtime routine. After about two weeks, he seemed to get it and starting falling asleep on his own and staying asleep all night.
It was heaven for about three months! Now for the past two weeks or so, almost every night he will wake up around 2 am, and stay awake for hours. No matter what I do, he seems to not be able to fall back asleep. If I go in his room when he wakes up, he will stop crying but tosses and turns for hours as above. Nothing else in his life is different. He is still napping well in the day time. He still falls asleep easily on his own at bed time around 8: But I am exhausted from being up from am every night, and very frustrated and afraid I am making it worse by back tracking and restarting our old bad habits.
But I get it—for sure! Make a plan with your partner that you both agree to and stick to it. The inconsistency from night to night is likely hard for your 22 mo old who is awakening. Try to get back to a routine. But make sure you both agree on it so when 2am rolls around you can stick to your plan. Use ear plugs for your husband or yourself as necessary so you can take breaks. My little boy turned 12 months two days ago, he started sleeping through the night a few months ago.
Just recently he started waking up atleast twice a night for a bottle, he want to sleep with us. I had never done this previously so im not sure why he wants this now. The only thing we have changed is starting him on whole milk, he is very little he is only right at 20 lbs. I have not slept in nights trying to get him to go back to sleep in his own bed… im not sure what to do at this point! Hi Auna, Lots of 12 month-old babies have shifts in their night sleep at this age. As best you can, step back from providing overnight feeds.
They will make up for needed feeds during the day. There is no danger to co-sleeping at this age but the more you allow your 1 year-old in bed, the more you create that as a new norm.
- The night divorce: Why more and more couples are sleeping apart.
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- 1. Set a schedule.
If you want a family bed, then great—keep doing it. Sometimes at early as four am and even earlier. His room has thick curtains do its not the sun when he wakes at his usual five am. Making him stay up till later does not help at all, and tiring him out sometimes just means him waking up even earlier. There was a case when he was about two and he woke without even waking anyone else up, got a snack ate it and then occupied himself until he got tired again and took a nap. That was around two am, and he said he fell back asleep after three hours. We usually wake up at five or six, due to him waking then.
His siblings can sleep just fine as long as he is not too noisy. There have been cases were he kept himself from sleeping the whole night and would not nap the next day and still woke up at five when we finally got him to sleep at eleven. Or get up and go to the bathroom. Some children awaken by natural shifts in their sleep schedule, in the middle of the night.
But what you want for them is to learn to quickly fall asleep without even knowing they were awake. If they awaken and have access to food and games, they become more alert and awake and ready for play. This clearly can create a difficult pattern and habit. I suppse my child is the exception. As an infant and a baby, he was never fussy, has always slept in his own bed in his own room, Started sleeping through the night at 5 weeks old and did so until he was 3.
He is not fed a lot of sugar and plays outside most of the day. We have a night time routine and have taken all the advice that we have been given. I even sought the services of a behavioralist, a child Pyschologist,his pediatrician and our family counselor. We took everything out of his room except for his bed which we ended up taking the frame out and just had a twin size mattress and one small dresser and less than 5 small soundless toys. He screams and cries, throws things, kicks, bites, punches, pinches…. He never goes to sleep! If he does go back to sleep, he will only sleep a couple more hours.
When we spank him.. When we reward him for listening, he just demands more reward… until he ends up screaming at the top of his lungs like he is being killed. I have read a ton of books, articles, been to drs and therapists.. Everyone says he is fine and if we do like they tell us, but it never works. It got so bad that we had to put an alarm on the doors and windows because he would open his bedroom window and climb out! He would even walk out the front door.
Once, when my youngest was about 2 weeks old… My 3 year old and my 5 year old Autistic were in his room playing and I was in the livingroom nursing my newborn. I got a knock at my door and when I went to answer it.. My son even climbed out the window while the officer was standing at my door talking to me! He also broke his window one night just after the babysitter put him to bed, because he used a toy car and repeatedly banged it against the glass until it broke. I am really at my wits end here. So, now it has come to the point where I sit in the livingroom with him on the couch np tv, no radio, no lights… until he passes out.
But even with no tv radio, lights etc… he will lay or sit there and talk or sing to himself. Which means that I am left to take care of things during the day with no sleep. Which means that neither my son nor I am able to preform tasks at our peak level because we are both so exhuasted. We were having him tested for ADHD, but the behavoralist refused to see us again because he was so difficult to work with.
He is VERY strong willed and defiant. He is aggressive and has a horrible temper. BUT he is very loving and caring. He does share and helps out with the baby and normally does what is asked of him. We offer a balanced meal each time and even have healthy snacks apples, yogurt, crackers… and while he likes those things and even asks for them.. For a drink, he normally has milk with a flavored straw or during the day I will give him water, lemonade, or low sugar juice. So, if there is anything that you can offer in the way or advice or suggestions..
Sleep - 3 years to 6 years
I have my ears open. Please help my son go to sleep and stay asleep. I have also tried baby proofing the bedroom and even took the door off the frame and replaced it with a baby gate. When our son learned how to climb over the baby gate, our counselor suggested that we replace the door and turns the handle around so the lock is on the outside.
The night divorce: Why more and more couples are sleeping apart - The Globe and Mail
We did this, and took out anything that could be harmful to him and put a safety lock on his window. Now, he just has his mattress, a small dresser and a couple toys and books in his room. I even had to take all his pictures and decor down because he was destroying those as well. And he knows that if he calls for me, I will come check on him. I am also in the room next to him, and I check in on him several times through out the night.
Has your pediatrician offered to have your son see a sleep specialist in your area? A sleep evaluation and study may be really helpful for you and often improving sleep can often have incredible effects on behavior challenges. I think he needs medication to address the issue, and soon. I would try no dairy, no wheat, and no sugar even juice for 2 weeks and see if it makes a difference. My son just turned 2yo at the end of july. He has always been, for the most part, a great sleeper! However in the past couple of weeks we have been battling putting him to bed which, fingers crossed, seems like we have resolved!
AND we started putting him to bed with his door open we had always closed it before then. NOW the issue is that my son is waking up every night at am. Before he could sleep until at least am! The thing is, after he falls asleep, I close his door, grandma lives with us and uses the restroom several times at night, so I am afraid the restroom and her walking could wake him if I leave his door open. After reading the blog, I realize perhaps having the door closed when he wakes may be a problem.
Hi, This website was really helpful regarding infant sleep issues and I thank you all for starting this. I have an 11 month old and he has always been a very poor sleeper. We tried to sleep train him using cry it out but it did not really work for us. He is a rather strong willed child and can go on for hours without giving up. Recently he has started waking up in the middle of the night…around 2 am and starts crying and screaming.
This goes on until am in the morning and he refuses to calm down. He will come over and cling to me in bed…. He does not let his daddy touch him or console him and will just wrap himself around me or cling tightly. This is very tiring for me and we are really disturbed by this. I don;t know how to encourage him to sleep on his own and through the night…..
What this sounds like to me is a bit of separation anxiety. Especially during over night awakenings. It should like he is really showing bot ha strong urgency for proximity and preference you over his father, for example which is common with separation. Solutions for this are likely not quick. Most of all, you have to keep your routines. If no progress over the next week or so or this is worsening, you may want to talk with his physician about next steps so you can get some reassurance. I am a mom of two, my oldest is 2 years old and prior to 2 weeks ago, was napping 2 hours a day and sleeping through the night being put down awake for both.
Then he got a bug bite on his ear which I was told to treat with Benedryl for first time. Since then he refused to nap, climbed out of his crib a few days in a row at which time we converted his crib to a toddler bed. He sleeps on the floor with his teddy bear or if I rock him to sleep again I will put him in the bed however that only lasts for about an hour. Any suggestions you can provide is much appreciated. Are you still using the benadryl or did you give it to him just one time? The reason I ask is that benadryl typically makes children sleepy as side effect of the medication but some children can have the opposite response and get more alert than usual which can impair sleep.
Did you see that response? Some children do this but in my experience in clinic, they always migrate back to the bed when they realize how much more comfortable it is! Hello, reading all the previous comments almost bought tears to my eyes. In the beginning he was sleeping in his crib but he was been sleeping with me in my bed for over a year now. My son has had some medical issues, he suffered with acid reflux at a very young age 4 month and had to be put on medicine for few months for that and recently 2 weeks had surgery to put tubes in his ears due to chronic ear infections.
The easiest way to get him back to sleep every time he wakes up is with a bottle. So that means he sucks on either milk or water constantly at night, therefore his diaper has to be changed times a night soaked diapers. Sometimes he wets himself and the bed cuz his diaper is so soaked! I am willing to start having him sleep in a toddler bed in his own room.
I would really need specific step-by-step instructions to how to slept wean him to sleep all by himself through the night. I know it may take weeks but we are willing to try not just for us for most importantly for him. Thank you for your time! Well Christa, you are certainly not alone. Many children have sleep challenges, particularly when they have medical concerns and after recovering from surgery. My advice for you is to start implementing a step by step process to reach the goals you have.
For example, if the goal is to have your son sleep in his own bed, in his own room, falling asleep on his own and staying in his room all night, start now making transitions. Then work next on getting him to fall asleep without you rocking him, etc. Make a plan, stick to it as best you can and remain as consistent as possible from day to day. Be methodic—make a list, check it off, get everyone in the house on board with the plan so they can support you. This will get better with time and consistency. If not, check in with his pediatrician.
Good luck, hope that helps! Our lovely son has never slept through the night. We have tried all sorts of things to resolve this and the results are either marginally better not so many awakenings or worse teething is a factor. Will try out the recommendation and leave feedback in a week or so. Sorry, I should add that our son is now 18 months, has always been bottle fed except for first 2 weeks — he had toungue tie which was corrected when he was 5 weeks old , and he wakes for milk at 1am and sometimes 4 am.
I blame ourselves for giving milk to him at night when he wakes as it seemed to be the only thing that helped him back to sleep. We share the bedroom with him and my partner works early wake up of 6am. I am currently still unemployed. Willing to try any suggestions to help us out. And as Dr Canapari mentions, switching to water first, and then getting rid of feed altogether andor spacing them out!
This will get better if you stop providing the milk at night! Also because parenting is imperfect, entirely variable, and always evolving. Good luck and please do return with a progress report! I agree with Wendy Sue. You were correct to address the meedical issues first. The next step is getting rid of the nocturnal feeds which you can do by reducing the volume of the feeds down to 2 oz then stop or increasing the interval between the feeds by 1 hour a night. My little one was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, but when we moved 3 months this was disrupted.
I have no clue how to get her back on track and it has been months. I realize she may feel less secure now, but I feel like in the process of helping her settle in, we somehow caused a sleep association issue. So yes, the stress and changes around a move may certainly have changed things for your infant. So these awakenings really may have more to do with her maturation than the physical move itself.
Work to be as brief and boring as you can be at night. Provide comfort or a feed and get her back on her back to sleep. Not sure if you are still replying to this stream but thought I would give it a try. My husband and I are blessed with two year old twins turned 2 in July whom have always slept well. Until lately, they sleep hours a night 7: Beginning last week, our son will randomly wake up, get out of his crib and come upstairs to play his room is with his sister in the daylight basement.
I often hear him as my room is upstairs, and I will find him eating crackers, playing with the toys in the family room or with the CD player. When I find him in these situations, he is happy and calm. I take him back to bed and he quickly falls back asleep. Any suggestions on how to change this behavior or what might be causing it? I suspect he is awakening from his sleep cycles and nothing else. However, now, he is becoming more and more alert—and as he becomes more sophisticated and more and more curious, he goes on adventures.
And with the opportunity for exploration, he is taking it. In some ways, you want to do very little. Many child stores sell the door knob handles that can help. Only issue is, sometimes toddlers outsmart them. Other than that, waiting it out and hopefully as he matures, gets little reinforcement for his awakenings, they will cease. I have a daughter who just turned two a week ago. She has most been a good sleeper and from 12 mths of age putting herself to sleep.
Normally you just put her in her cot say good night and leave the room. However from around 22 months she has started waking throughout the night some times five times. She will put herself back to sleep each time. Ive tried putting her to bed later even after a week of trying it resulted in earlier wake up times from 3.
Also tried only letting her sleep 1hr during the day everything stayed the same but just had a cranky tired toddler all afternoon. Not sure what to do….. Can you please help!!!! Thank you so much!!!! So, the really great news is that your daughter knows how to get herself back to sleep. More and more, you just have to insist on altering the way she seeks your attention during the night so the rest of you can sleep, too!
How about trying to set rules for no screaming for you. Also, goals for no leaving the room, etc. Since you continue to see that she is doing well and simply unsettled, do your best not to go to her room. Get light blocking shades for the morning light to see if that will help her in the AM Keep your routine consistent.
With time and routine, hopefully she will go back to not calling out for you and seeking your attention during her mid-night awakenings. Also, can you provide others ear plugs in the house? Maybe just have one adult a night without them…you ALL need some sleep! Hi Wendy, Thank you so much! I will make sure I use all your tips for better sleep…. Including the ears plugs lol I laughed as I read it but as soon as I laughed once I thought what a fantastic idea.
Well with a new night upon us and using your tips and the new and extra food its now 2am and its the first time I heard from her. Thank you so much, explaining the new rules to her before bed and sticking to them has given me 5hours of straight sleep: He was never the best sleeper, but he was sleeping through the night for a few months there. I looked and since I saw nothing I asked details. But the night wakings and early wake-up times are killing us.
We are so tired. Also, I have a 1-year-old who sleeps in the room next to him so I am concerned about waking him up as well if I let the older one scream and cry during the night. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts and ideas: Hi I need some help! My daughter is 17 and a half months old and her crib is in mine and my husband room! Since reading this I have tried to wean her off the milk at bedtime because if she screams my husband will go give her a milk bottle some time she up half the nite!
She lays down like she almost asleep and jumps up wire more of the time! I put her down when she rubbing her eyes! I need help any help …. She waking up ; I just want to get my baby girl to get more sleep so she not so fussy and crying all day and get me and my hubby sleep so we all can sleep Thank you so much Starr Andrews-Strong starr.
My husband and I have hit a rough patch with our almost 22 month old daughter. She had been a great sleeper since about 9 months of age. We try to keep a consistent bedtime routine with a couple of books in her room and then putting her in her crib awake but content. Sometimes after I read her that 1 more book she is hysterical but eventually falls back to sleep.
Has anyone had an issue like this? I am wonderig if we read books in the living room before bed if this might help? Any suggestions would be appreciated. Although you may change the expectations for books if you read them in the living room, I must say, reading books in bed with children is one of the yummiest things. Just work to define expectations and routines for her, discussing that books are for bedtime, not for wake-up. Oh this was so helpful in explaining what may be going on. She is 2 and we just change her crib to a bed in the last two weeks.
My son is 4 yrs. He has never had a problem until last week. Now he refuses to sleep in his bed, and he says because his bed is not pretty.. I tried turning lights on, changing his bedding set to a new one that he picked. After I changed it he said that he did not like it. Tried putting him to sleep by the door on my room where he could see me and still nothing.. Because he repeats the same thing over and over with out stopping.
Hi Macelly, He may just be developing a bit of a fear of the dark or of being separated. This is very common at this age. And unless you want to have him sleep with you each night, you may not want to have him in bed with you. May provide reassurance during this transition—for both of you. I am going to push her bedtime back and add a yummy snack before and limit sippys hopefully something will happen: I have a 29 month old son. Sleep has always been a nightmare.
He has never slept all night properly. We have had issues with getting him to sleep as he will stay up late, tried own bed, sharing room all sorts. We can now get him to sleep with a good routine. My problem is he wakes at 2am daily. I have tried settling, leaving in room, shutting door and he can scream for hours and I mean could go 2 hours if I left him. I am woken constantly while he is with me.
Your exhaustion is very understandable and clearly you need to find a new way to help your child sleep but also find respite so you can, too. In the meantime, can you possibly allow someone else to do the overnight awakenings with your son for even one night so that you can get 8 hours of sleep? Is anyone available to help you—even one night can really help restore you.
- The Journal of Henry David Thoreau, 1837-1861 (New York Review Books Classics).
- All About Sleep!
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Just sitting up, quietly. Then I put him back to bed. He laid in his room, quietly talking. USUALLY, he wakes up anytime between midnight and 6am, staying up for hours and in some cases, never going back to bed at a time. I usually catch him awake because I check on the kids when I get up during the night for a bathroom break. However, it may be that some nights he awakens from his sleep cycle and then gets himself back to sleep without you knowing.
Sometimes, it sounds like, he just lies there or sits awake. Is he really drowsy during the day? Is he napping well during the day? What time are bedtime and normal awake time in the AM? We have twin 3 yr old girls who were diagnostic w autism. They have never been great sleepers. They get up every night at about 2am like it is 7am.
We live in an apt which makes me worried about the neighbors. Hi Christine, This sounds so exhausting. The best advice I can give you is to not fuel the fire in the middle of the night. I suspect when one wakes up, she awakens her sister and then the chaos begins, and they are both up.
In some ways, I would suggest you do very little and allow the girls to get back to sleep on their own, if at all possible. Is there a way to allow one of the girls to sleep on the floor on a mattress in your room, or elsewhere to separate them to try to help allow for overnight awakenings? The only other thing I want to mention is that children with autism very commonly have sleep challenges. Talk with your pediatrician about things you can do specifically to support your girls. If you can, tell them how stressed you are and how much frustration and anger that is very understandable is developing so they really know the stakes and can help implement a plan now!
Ok so my daughter only sleeps a few hours at night. She wakes up and screams and cries all night. She was diagnosed with adhd. With no results from adhd meds we tried melatonin. The highest dose at that with no results. Then clonadine with melatonin. She just wakes up more aggrivated because she is more drowsy. We have tried everything we could think of. We are so exausted. We would just like some answers to help her and us sleep.
We have triedd exersize, letting her stay up, sleeping with her, sleeping with her brother, sleeping in different rooms, played music…etc. A sleep journal would be very useful for determining what is going on. Melissa, My son use to sleep for about 4 hours then scream. We would have to hold him and walk around. Sleeping in our bed, he would throw himself around and cry.
He had both acid reflux and a milk allergy. The milk only effected his stomach at night. We give our son oat milk. My son is 16 months old. I cannot remember a day when he slept throughout the night. He is still sleeping with us in our bed room. He goes in bed room at 10 but it takes 1 hour to fell him asleep.
We tried a lot to make him asleep on his own but nothing seems to work so far. He wakes up in the night times at regular intervals for bathroom needs. He is not potty trained yet. He will scream until he pees. We do not use nappies for him in night time. So need to change his pajama every time he pees in the bed.
He needs atleast a bottle of milk every night. He will have little milk every time he wakes up in the night. Some times times a week he will wake up at around 2am and will not sleep for hours. Its really getting very frustrating for us. In the afternoon, he sleeps from pm. Please help us out with this problem. Is there anyway you could used diapers nappies at night to see if this would help your 16 month-old get into a regular sleep routine where he is allowed to sleep through the night?
If he is an otherwise healthy 16 month-old, I would also recommend you not provide overnight feedings. Wean off of those gradually, over a couple of weeks, and only offer water at night, as needed. If you have difficultly doing this, talk with his pediatrician—or if you have feeding concerns, check in with them as well. Lastly, I would work to move the nap time in the afternoon to a bit earlier. Over the next month, I would work to transition the nap gradually by minutes every few days earlier and earlier.
If he typically sleeps 3 hours, I would aim for a 12 noon nap time with a goal of no sleeping past 3pm in the afternoon. This potentially will allow for an earlier bed time and easier get-to-sleep routine. She is very bright in school, not struggling with work or friends. She has always been a terrible sleeper, both going to sleep excuses to stay up and waking up at night ever since she was moved to a big girl bed at 1.
Toddler Sleep: 4 Reasons Toddlers Wake Up At Night
We usually up to 2 months ago could usher her back to her bed without problems. She would fall right back to sleep and self awakens every morning 7am or so happy. The last 2 months she has been very poor about falling asleep, but worse, staying asleep. We have tried sooth, tuck, and leave crying out loud and in our room in 30 seconds. We have tried sooth, re-establish sleep with us in her room: We have tried rewards, punishments taking away play date , threatened closing locking the door to our room, on and on.
She reads books for 30 min before bed Annie of Green Gables, Magic tree house, etc. Ideas that work for middle night? Discuss any other changes that may or may not have occurred in her life school, friends, eating, activities. My three and a half year old and 22 month old share a room. They used to be pretty good sleepers, especially the 22 month old. BUT now they consistently and purposely wake each other up. The 3 yr old is in a toddler bed and we put the 22 month back in his crib, but to no avail. Nothing has worked consistently! Please for some advice- them not sharing a room is not an option since we only have 3 bedrooms.
I would do your best NOT to do much of anything for your 2 bedroom hooligans: I think the less attention they get negative or positive from these overnight and early AM awakenings, the less likely they will continue. At some point the novelty will likely wear off and they will just go and stay asleep. So many toddlers experiment with awakenings at during these years and what has made it difficult is that they get some reinforcement from their sibling. Do your best to have patience and let them ride this out, as best you safely can. But I think the less you intervene the better. But that was it.
All my romantic ideas were otherwise out the window. Controlled crying was in.
Yet there is always guilt. By the late-night glow of the laptop, I read reports saying it was damaging to the child's psyche to be left to cry themselves to sleep. Online forums said triumphant things like: Then I rest my case! And I haven't even got a husband — it's just me crying myself to sleep because I'm so effing tired. In short, I realised that controlled crying looked like the worst thing in the world when I was sleep deprived myself, and a perfectly reasonable compromise when baby and I had both spent a nice night in our beds.
Still, the academic jury remains out.
The Globe and Mail
As psychologist Suky Macpherson told me: You'll find most psychologists divided on the topic, depending on whether they come from a psychoanalytic framework or a more behaviourist one. The analysts are all about attachment, so they tend to think that the baby will grow up into a damaged adult if left alone to cry by itself for long periods.
And yet Macpherson is hugely sympathetic towards parents who use controlled crying, "since a mother who is sleep deprived often finds it difficult to mother properly, or work. Emotional deprivation can lead to long-term problems, yes — but does crying a bit in your first year count as emotional deprivation? It depends on the degree to which the child is left. All my residual guilt about this finally evaporated the other day, when my daughter invented a game where she would lie her teddies on my bed, say: Then come back in and repeat the process, before bellowing: She thought it was hysterical.
I couldn't help reflecting that she didn't seem horribly scarred by our bedtime routine. Instead she found it funny. And then there's the child's need to be asleep, too. Meanwhile American research has linked the childhood obesity epidemic not just to diet and exercise but also to lack of sleep.
We've read all the research and we don't want strict routines, but we don't want to be a deranged pushover either. Well, I know what the compromise is in my family. My parents have been staying a lot recently, and my year-old father comes into his own at bedtime. Feeling peckish around bedtime? Turkey and warm milk contain tryptophan the precursor to melatonin , while honey contains orexin, which reduces alertness.
Marmite, almonds, chamomile and oatcakes are also good, and bananas have high levels of serotonin and magnesium," The Good Sleep Guide author Sammy Margo tells the UK Telegraph. You're no doubt aware you need to be careful about not consuming caffeine later in the day if you want to get a good night's sleep, but did you know alcohol can also disturb your sleep? That nightcap might make you feel drowsy at bedtime, but it'll make the second half of your night more disturbed and less restful.
So have that glass of wine early enough that it's out of your system by the time you turn out the light. The blue light emitted by your computer and other gadgets can keep you up , so switch them off a good hour or two before bed this will also help you clear your head of the day's concerns before you hit the hay. It's a free app that "makes the color of your computer screen resemble the current time of day, helping your body recognize that bedtime is drawing near," explains Dr.
Your body's ideal sleeping environment is cool, dark, and quiet, so do your best to eliminate noise and light from your room and hey, you can save some money turning down the thermostat too. If your home is loud at night, "use a fan, an air-conditioner, or a white noise app or machine. You can also try ear plugs," suggests Web MD. A comfy bed is also obviously essential. That might mean splurging on a better mattress or pillows science says that your pillows probably need replacing every 18 months thanks to an accumulation of dust mites.
And apologies to your furry friends, but if you're aiming for the ultimate sleep experience, they're going to need to find their own places to snooze away from your bed. Your sleeping subconscious is a powerful tool that can help you make difficult decisions and dream up innovative ideas.