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The founders of this study would never in their wildest dreams have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later, telling you that the study still continues. Every two years, our patient and dedicated research staff calls up our men and asks them if we can send them yet one more set of questions about their lives. Many of the inner city Boston men ask us, "Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting.

To get the clearest picture of these lives, we don't just send them questionnaires.

Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger

We interview them in their living rooms. We get their medical records from their doctors. We draw their blood, we scan their brains, we talk to their children. We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns. And when, about a decade ago, we finally asked the wives if they would join us as members of the study, many of the women said, "You know, it's about time. So what have we learned? What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages of information that we've generated on these lives?

Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder.

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The clearest message that we get from this year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. We've learned three big lessons about relationships.

Hypothetical types of biochemistry

The first is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.

And the sad fact is that at any given time, more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.


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And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd and you can be lonely in a marriage, so the second big lesson that we learned is that it's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship, but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.

It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective. Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s, we wanted to look back at them at midlife and to see if we could predict who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian and who wasn't.

Hypothetical types of biochemistry - Wikipedia

And when we gathered together everything we knew about them at age 50, it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. It doesn't matter whether you have a huge group of friends and go out every weekend or if you're in a "perfect" romantic relationship as if those exist.

It's the quality of the relationships--how much vulnerability and depth exists within them; how safe you feel sharing with one another; the extent to which you can relax and be seen for who you truly are, and truly see another. According to George Vaillant , the Harvard psychiatrist who directed the study from to , there are two foundational elements to this: The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away.

Thus, if you've found love in the form of a relationship, let's say but you undergo a trauma like losing a job, losing a parent, or losing a child, and you don't deal with that trauma, you could end up "coping" in a way that pushes love away. This is a very good reminder to prioritize not only connection but your own capacity to process emotions and stress. If you're struggling, get a good therapist. Join a support group. Invest in a workshop. Get a grief counselor. Siddhartha again asked " What has happened to that man?

Slave replied " Everybody is young at one time but they get old with time , they get sick and move towards death everyday ". To this , Siddhartha thought " Will i get old and sick as well? Siddhartha asked " Now who is that man? They call it the truth of life " And Siddhartha made up his mind that he also wants to find the truth of life so he left his kingdom, his family, his wealth all behind him and set out on this lonely journey Curiosity and tremendous courage to doubt everything that society teaches you is the only way.

Bebe Peng, Senior Software Engineer at Pivotal New York, walks through a day in her life.

You need to doubt why we are born, why we exist, where will we go after death and get lost in that search to find eternal bliss and the truth of life. S We see people get old,sick and die so often in life. It does not matter how much money or intelligence they had, they left it all behind and took not a dime with them.

We saw them crying, unhappy, busy in the rat race but we repeat the same mistake and teach our children the same and the cycle goes on Learn More at englishninjas. If you work for only success and pleasure, then yes. As i am a theist, so i would define life to be a test for every human.

How i reached this conclusion is topic for another debate. But you dont need to have a debate to understand this. See life for yourself, and think neutrally Most probably you will find the right way. Darwinism says its all about survival of the fittest. Capitalism says its about power, money, and bling. Consumerism says its about power, money, and bling.

Christianity says its about something more Its about relationships and community Its about following the model of Jesus Its about understand our Creator And its about understanding and living out our eternal purpose. Limit your participation in the rat race to just the necessary things and dedicate free time to spiritual pursuits. Pete Ashly's answer to What motivates people to be 'successful', and if living a spiritual life that condemns the need for ego, what is left to motivate?

Related Questions How can one get out of rat race? Which is the best way of living life? Why is life a rat race always? Does life have a meaning? Is there something beyond life? What is the meaning of life in one sentence? What are some helpful ways to help one keep away from the ever growing "Rat Race" around?