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She then left me crying in the bathroom about it. We were acquaintances then until early June, when she completely cut me out of the picture. Then in August, we started high school. On the first day, I waved to her and said hi. She said hi as well, but kind of looked away and ignored me. A week later, as I was walking out of a class with my friend Lucy, she saw Lucy and said "Hi!

I was recently talking to a few of mine and her old other friends. One of them was from the friend group she left me for. Let's call her Christie for privacy. Christie told me that over the summer Lily didn't talk to her. Christie doesn't go to the same high school we do also. She said that she really misses a Lily and that she cut her out as well.

She then texted Lily about how she's been ignoring her and how she wanted an answer from her. Lily responded saying, "Oh my gosh! I miss u so much! I've been super busy lately though. Cross country every evening, and my phones been messing up too. Christie said she didn't know why Lily hated me so much. I haven't talked to Christie since then, but she's probably back to being friends with her.

I also spoke to a girl who had been friends with Lily, but moved to another school two years ago. She said that a week before high school started, she hung out with Lily for an entire day, and now Lily just ignores her! We both came to the consensus that Lily was only friends with people to use them for popularity, then she would throw them away. Also, Lily's mother and mine were good friends, and now her mother ignores my mom too! I keep crying about this because I miss her so much, and she was such a great friend, but I don't know what to do. She completely ignores my existence and I have no idea why.

If you have any suggestions, please tell me them because I am still very, very sad about all of this. First of all, I love your screen name for some reason! Yes, I think you have really hit the nail on the head. While it's true that we don't always understand what our friends are going through, it really is the biggest disappointment when they don't tell us about circumstances that are happening in their lives and we do feel, as you say, "bamboozled", because they seemingly didn't think they could trust us enough to let us know. It is so hard to think that someone we felt close to would not let us into their inner world and tell us what was happening with them.

Perhaps God keeps us from knowing certain things, because we are not ready, or it is not the right time I don't know your situation, but my prayers are with you. Dealing with losing the friendship of a whole family, and especially a pastor's family whom you were close with at church, sounds really difficult. Saying a prayer for your as you navigate this situation! May God give you wisdom. Great article, I had this happen with me and my best friend of 6 years.

There was a fight and she completely cut me off and made me feel terrible about myself and that it was all of my fault and our friendship was toxic, so she said. I got counseling and I come to know that we were both at fault. Never did I think I was like this. I was always there for her no matter what and we talked all of the time and had classes together.

I stopped going to the church that I loved so much, but I did find a new one so that will be alright. It just sucks because I still care about her even though she talks crap about me with our other friends and family. I have a lot of other friends but nothing will ever compare.

24 quotes that perfectly sum up what a friendship breakup feels like

She text me this summer and told me that she forgave me and wished the best for me and I said the same back. I literally look at the clock the whole time until I can leave. I realize some good points and valid clues to deal with the issue. I tend to put people on pedestals all the tme. Dominic could have been a better friend to you in your times of need, it sounds like. Going through an illness is a pretty big deal, and so is having a parent pass away. I'm sorry to hear your friend was not more sympathetic and caring during those difficult times. When someone shows themselves to be a bad friend, we have two choices: If you don't think that person is going to change or treat you better, sometimes it's the best move to not be as close with them anymore or maintain the same level of friendship.

But we should always forgive, no matter what. I hope you have other friends in your life who are more supportive and caring. The best way to find people like that, is to be that kind of friend to others. Your words have rang within my soul.. I feel bamboozled right now. Hello Nicole, I stumbled across your site and it was what i think i needed to hear, but in this case this scar goes beyond anything ive dealt with. I was friends with the pastors family for 5 years.

Apparently one of the daughters was bothered, she had her brother trll me i was barely tolerable while she and her sister ignored me. This all came out of the blue. This triggered me so much i went through mental problems of my own I did talk to the pastor a couple times since then and he said theres no animosity and they care about me but want to give me the space i need to move forward and that i didnt do anything to slight him, but also said i was only allowed at main service and mens breakfast, and would have to give his daughter space to process.

At mental health i learned it was quite possible i have schizo bipolar my family has it but this is so weird. This hurts so much because its not just losing the one friend. Its losing the entire family. Its losing the entire church family. And from everyone has told me i havent done anything wrong. If it is a mental issue she going through then i think thats something that can bring us closer together since my family has always dealt with it. But being rejected by a pastors family I know the pastor just wants his daughter to be happy and comfortable, but at the same time its coming across as divisive and unloving, especially considering how they handled it.

Ive been so confused but i love them so much.


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I'm the one that ended the friendship with Dominic but he wasn't being a good friend at all to me he always but his girlfriend first he wasn't there for me when my anxiety got bad or when I had pneumonia until it got worse and I had a fever but even then he wasn't there in person not until after I was better he just was being a bad friend he knew that my dad died five years ago but I don't think he cared at all so finally I've had enough and ended the friendship. Being unfollowed on Instagram or Facebook can really hurt. Even though it's just social media, I understand how it can still sting when one of your friends rejects you on this type of platform.

Focus on your other friendships and also having quiet time with God, and doing hobbies you enjoy. Try to limit your use of social media if you find that it's too upsetting for you to deal with it. Go swimming with a friend. Go to the gym. Broaden your horizons and take a break from the digital world. You'll most likely feel a lot more peaceful and this will jump start your healing process. How can I deal these friendships that made me break up with my new or old friendships by my new or old friends blocking me on ig or leaving me out of our friendship?

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your two best friends within the past two years. That would certainly be difficult to deal with. Saying a prayer for you today. May God be with you and bring you comfort and encouragement right now. Thank you so much for sharring this. Ive lost my two best friends in 2 years and its been harder than anything.

That's really sad that she cut you off so close to your birthday. I know how hard it can be to think about celebrating without someone who you were so close to. Please remember that there will be other special people in your life who will be excited to celebrate with you when the time comes. It's ironic how people can turn things around on others.

She did most of the inviting, yet now she feels smothered. The best thing to do is give her the space she's asking for and just pray for resolution. There is definitely something deeper going on most of the time, in my experience. Praying for you both! Thank you for this article.

I am currently dealing with a friend that decided to cut me off three weeks before my birthday. She mentioned that she needed to figure out her life and that felt smothered. Often times she was the one calling me and inviting to events with her and her family. I never looked at it as me smothering her. I have come to the realization that she must be dealing with something deeper than what she has told me. I of course panicked and did something that I regret. I sent her an email asking for forgiveness but she has not responded. Thank you again for the article as it has opened my eyes to realize maybe why things turned out the way that they did.

I do see what you're saying, but I think what you're referring to is when friends drift apart, which sometimes just happens naturally. This article concerns when a friend suddenly cuts you off, not simply because you've grown apart due to being in different seasons of life. Sometimes, friends do naturally drift apart, and it's not necessarily hurtful to either party. If you have a class with someone and strike up a friendship, you may drift apart when the class is over and you no longer have that commonality.

If your friend gets married and you're still single, you might naturally gravitate more toward your single friends, because you both have that stage of life in common. But when someone cuts off a friendship, it means they sever ties with that person completely. It's not just that they don't get together as much anymore because they drifted apart. There's a split--a parting of ways and a refusal to have any contact whatsoever, and that's what is extremely painful. Refusing to answer someone's phone calls, deleting them from social media, and literally cutting ties completely is what is very heartbreaking and not "natural"--there's usually a deeper reason than just "growing apart.

It sounds like it could be a combination of reasons. It would probably be best to give her space right now and wait. See if she contacts you after some time passes. I know how hard that can be. Please be good to yourself and nurture other friendships during this time. Hopefully then, your mind won't be as focused on the situation. I'm really sorry to hear that you feel like you've been replaced. That has got to be a crummy feeling! Has all contact with your friend been completely cut off?

Or is she just spending more time with this new friend now? Give it some time and perhaps the friendship will come back around. Glad this page can be uplifting to you in some way. The Lord bless you! I hope your friendship can be restored with the person you hurt as well. I will pray over that situation, for this person to have a forgiving heart towards you and for everything to work out. Thank you for your response and kind words. Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you again. We have been pretty busy here lately. It sounds to me like you really held your mother's thoughts and opinions in high esteem, and that even now you regret letting her down by marrying Ruth against her wishes.

It's amazing how much power and sway our parents' attitudes and opinions can have over us, even when they are no longer with us anymore. The parent-child bond is such a strong one! However, as close as you were with your mother, and as much as you valued her advice and input in your life, you did make the choice to marry Ruth, and she is the one that God had for you to spend your life with and raise a family with. As sad as Jennifer's circumstances have turned out, and as much as I'm sure you have good intentions in trying to help her out, it just isn't appropriate.

With all due respect, you decided to reach out to her over email, and I'm not sure that decision was well-advised. I'm so sorry to hear it has caused you so much stress and anxiety and brought on health problems. God's Word and His truths are so important that they trump even the thoughts and opinions of our well-intentioned parents. God joined you and Ruth together, and His covenant takes precedence over the thoughts or ideas of any person, regardless of who it is-- even your mother.

I think that when you focus on the truths found in His Word and on making your marriage stronger, you'll transition into a new season where you are not so hyper-focused on this other person, and where you can have peace and tranquility in your life again. Let it go and truly give it all to the Lord.

God bless you in this!


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  6. Cutting off a friend is not always out of meanness or due to a problem. Their move away was really going on for a long time and you were not able to see it, maybe not want it. Sometimes it works the other way. You may be the one growing and changing and the other person is not. The parallel is to your own life. At 15, you are not the person you were at 5, and at 30 not who you were at Learn to "release" people from stages of development you may even be binding them in, perhaps more for your own needs.

    When we hold seasons back and keep them from evolving, it's like binding one's legs when about to giver birth. There often, too, has to be a death before a birth of a new season, both for you and others. Wouldn't it be said for any of us if we had to stay in the diaper stage of life for a parent who did not want us to group up? Those parallels exist in the life of friendships, too.

    This just happened to me as well. I have no idea which one it is. Thank you for putting this out on the internet. I'm happy to have stumbled across it! I recently had a friend cut me out of her life and "replace" me for reasons I don't know. We hadn't been friends that long a year maybe but I don't have many people I call friends and I felt like we had a good connection for a good friendship. Anyway, for whatever the reason s she has moved on.

    I'm working through my feelings on it but your article has helped affirm what I've been feeling and doing to help myself through it. I read your story and I will pray that God will restore my friendship with a certain person that I hurt. I hope one day she can forgive me. There wasn't space in the original post, but this desire to find her was exacerbated by the fact that when she came to visit my family in -- when she drove up to tell me she wanted to break-up and date other men -- my mother actually took a liking to her!

    She also had the gift of prophecy -- everything she ever told me about my future and my future with Ruth has indeed come true, both for better and for worse. I never forgot her words So, you can see that the combination of her liking Jennifer she never liked any of my other girlfriends! There is no other woman all this could have happened with, only Jennifer I became convinced God had brought us together for some greater good, perhaps to help her in some way. I was so keen to have us all become friends -- her younger son plays piano and I used to be a violinist; what joy it could have brought all of us to make music!

    But, no, she wouldn't have it; she won't meet Ruth, saying it would hurt her too much. Indeed, she once told me that she cried so much following our initial meeting last October. I'm probably thick as a brick, but I don't understand why? If she was so in love with me, why did she not find my letters and write me decades ago? Why didn't she retrace her route to our summer house?

    She once drove km to get there; she's a very bright woman, surely she could have figured it out? There are so many, many questions, but she won't give me any answers and now won't even communicate with me, so I may well never know. The whole thing is one massive enigma, that makes no sense, but has been driving me slowly insane.

    I have lost weight, started losing my hair, break into tears all too easily -- I really think finding her in such a state, yet not being able to help her, has brought me to the edge of an abyss. For one, my Dad passed away with Alzheimer's a few years ago, which took an enormous toll on me. Also, Jennifer had been saying for months previously that I needed to refocus on my wife and marriage; so in truth, she really has behaved honorably throughout and it's only my own fault, my stupidity in not being able to see her as she is now, that has brought us to this sorry mess.

    I haven't said much about Ruth, but I do love her very much and have showered her with many, many gifts of jewelry, flowers and every other imaginable thing to show my love for her over the years. Yet, I can't deny that the shadow of my mother's disapproval, coupled with her liking Jennifer, and fighting the same dread cancer has wrought havoc with my psyche. Had Jennifer been married and more or less happy when we met last October, none of this would have happened.

    It was her loneliness and need combined with the factors just mentioned that literally 'pushed all my buttons'. I'm a problem-solver by nature, but this is so far, far beyond my ability to 'fix' that I have I have only been 'spinning my wheels' to the point of a nervous breakdown I have no wish to have an affair with Jennifer, but I cannot deny still having an overwhelming need to help her somehow.

    But she's cut off all communication, so there's nothing I can do -- it's in God's hands now, just as it has always been. I can only pray for her. Thank you again, Nicole -- your words have helped heal me, you have a very rare gift of insight. God Bless you for your kindness and generosity in helping so many benighted, confused souls like me! I do remember your story. You seem to be very conflicted about having this person in your life.

    Perhaps, if having this person as a friend gives you this much anxiety, it's not a good idea. Also, you mentioned "negative soul-ties" a couple of times. I haven't heard of that before, and I've never read anything about "soul-ties" in the Bible. So I don't know what you mean by that. I think you should be wary about believing in soul ties if it's not something God tells us about in His Word.

    Keep praying and seeking God on this whole matter. If this friendship doesn't bring you peace or a closer relationship with God, maybe it's not worth keeping. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you will take my comments and advice in the best way possible, and know that I'm coming only from a place of concern for you and your marriage. You mention that you believe in God and believe that He is in control. In that case, I would encourage you to keep reading His Word in order to determine His will in this matter and have peace about it. The woman you married chose you and has faithfully loved you all this time.

    You have children together. Because you chose each other! And God ordained that covenant and does not want your eyes or heart wandering away! Your wife did not walk away and leave you hanging, she chose to have a life with you and make you her everything. This other woman is someone from your past who you were infatuated with.

    Please, recommit yourself to your wife and don't look back! Don't buy flowers or a card for this other woman. It doesn't matter if it's her birthday or not. It's not your responsibility to bring her happiness or fix her life. Let her go and let God help her and give her everything she needs.

    How To Deal: With A BFF Break Up

    She has done you a favor by cutting off contact, because by continuing to see her and entertain ideas about her, you could very well have been on the brink of having an affair. Your commitment is to your wife and your family, so please, go buy your wife some roses and a nice card. Then delete this woman's information and put it out of your mind. Read your Bible and fellowship at church with other believers who are strong in their faith. It's not a sin to be tempted, but it is a sin to give in and we are supposed to run away from temptation!

    Sometimes, being "cut off" can actually be a good thing, and this is one of those times. Hey Nicole, you probably do not recall me or my story-but its basically my best friend and only friend at that time abandoning me supposedly for good five months earlier. I learned to live without him, and even identified the problems in the relationship-both mine and his. Its horrifying to note that not only we had a negative soul tie, but he too has numerous negative soul ties with various of his friends and spouse from the messages we used to send one another.

    It feels hurtful knowing I got the short end of the stick though, that I was sincerely the only one cut off and disregarded as I did not have any other friends but him-I did suspect he indirectly or directly manipulated it to be so so he can get a clean get away. That being said, I could be wrong, but after deciding to check it up after a long while of abstaining from him, I feel like its pretty much spot on. I suspect its also cause Im a christian and the devil is indirectly using that to cause him to not be delivered from his bondages.

    I seriously want to help him out now that I am better, even though majority of the people would probably just dump and throw him aside if he did what he did to me to them. I even prayed about it and believed I receive numerous confirmation that this relationship will be ressurected and restored better than before.

    That being said, its not encouraging knowing that besides this relationship, you do not have stable Godly relationships or they are just in the beginning stage and numerous of other issues which I do not wish to say. It does not help knowing your parents, whom are the only ones who know you since young, are extremely against the idea of this relationship being restored alongside other promises. Sometimes I do not even know if I should listen to them. Overall, I learnt to do better with Christ who is now closer to me than ever, and I have to forgive everyone on a daily basis and hope for the best case scenarios in Christ.

    I pray that everyone here receives confirmation whether to keep praying and believing for ressurection or just dumping any hope for the relationship and focusing on someone else. Everyone has to move on nonetheless as even if the relationship gets ressurected-I highly doubt the person or even yourself will be the same person you know back then especially since this abandonment has happened.

    Still, for my case. I do not know what I should even do, asking Christ whether I myself should attempt reconciliation after all these months or remain silent if its not the right time. Its also kind of horrific knowing that your ex-friend has negative soul ties in the past and currently with not just you, but with numerous others and its potentially killing and agonising all of them. I do not know what to even do, I mean Im praying, but should I even take action??? I wish to hear an answer from Christ himself, its just sad. I was very moved by your words and especially about praying for the friend that is gone from your life.

    I've recently had an experience that has shaken me to my core -- I would appreciate any thought or comments you may have. Many years ago, I met and fell in love with Jennifer -- we were each other's first love; she was 19, I was We dated for a few months, I spent a week with her family in early May of and then we were apart until the end of that summer. In late August, she drove km from her home to visit me at our family summer home; I so looked forward to seeing her, I could hardly stand the wait!

    The first thing she told me when she saw me was that she wanted to break-up and see what other men were like. I was absolutely heart-broken; she is the only woman I've ever cried over. We saw each other a number of times during the following year, but despite always seeming to be happy to see me, she always somehow kept me at arm's length. There was something enigmatic about her, I could never be quite sure what she felt or meant, but there seemed a strange 'push-me, pull-me' at play that I couldn't understand.

    I came to the conclusion she just wasn't in love with me and so before Christmas , I left to go home. I figured if she wanted me, she had my addresses and would contact me -- we had written each other many letters and it seemed like a reasonable assumption. In I began a new phase of my life, time passed, but I never heard anything more from her.

    The decades flew by -- I got married, had children, worked at my career; but I never forgot her. Then in early October, , I found her name and e-mail; Jennifer was working in a town fairly close to where I lived -- I sent her an e-mail, and we agreed to meet. Forty three years had passed since I last saw her, I was now 66 and she was 64 -- but none of that mattered; when I looked into her eyes, I was 22 and suddenly I was in love again, only more than ever.

    It felt as though I was spiralling down from a precipice in slow-motion! We talked for hours over dinner; what I learned overwhelmed me with every emotion I could feel: Although she was a medical doctor, she was deeply unhappy, her personal life scarred with traumas. She had two sons she had raised alone -- her 'ex', never married her and then abandoned her during her second pregnancy; she had a nervous breakdown in ; she was a cancer survivor with a first mastectomy in and a second in She had lost all her hair following chemotherapy; it was now a pepper-and-salt gray from her original dark brown.

    Her sons had left home for University, she had never married and was now very, very lonely. My heart leapt out to her, I was desperate to take away even a little of her pain -- but what could I do? We started texting, saw each other for dinner a few times -- everything seemed fine, there was so much to catch-up on! Then in early December, without warning, she cut-off all communication with me without explanation.

    For days I was in agony not knowing what had happened; when she finally texted me, she told me that she needed to keep her distance from me for the sake of my marriage! Ever since we met, she had been very curious about my marriage -- I told her I was married with a family 5 minutes after we first met -- yet, she kept asking whether I was happy, and seemed curious about the nature of my relationship with my wife, Ruth.

    I had never told Ruth about Jennifer, as I didn't think anything was to be gained -- we had never done anything more than hold hands, so there was nothing really to tell! There was no question, however, that I was again in love with Jennifer; yes, I was now in love with two women, one from my past, the other from my present! Jennifer also told me she too was still in love with me.

    Still, I was honest: I told her I could never leave Ruth -- I could never do to her what Jenny's ex had done. Her constant needling about my marriage finally resulted in me telling Ruth about everything that had happened; although she was surprised, she was also very understanding -- she trusted me! We had made a life together for 35 years, and we weren't about to throw that away. In the end, after much turmoil, Jenny and I seemed to come to an agreement.

    By the end of January, we resumed texting, though less frequently, finally met again for dinner and a concert in late February; things seemed back to 'normal'. Then, at the end of February, her older son got a job on the other side of the continent -- she was obviously distressed as her sons were her only family. She went to visit him and attended a conference afterwards in March; following her return, I heard nothing more from her except a terse e-mail saying that I was married, with a family and that she had no part in that.

    I had assumed we were going to stay friends for the rest of our days, that I could be there for her -- I would do anything for her, short of leaving Ruth! But, there it was: I feel devastated, hollow and empty -- I never saw it coming! Since re-connecting with her last October, I have found her even more enigmatic than ever: The same 'push-me, pull-me' tendency is there except it seems now more Jekyll and Hyde. To this day, I don't know why she never contacted me during all those years apart, but she seems to blame me for not having contacted her; she seems to have suggested she was 'waiting' for me during her medical school training, but she never contacted me to say so!

    I feel torn with guilt that I hadn't contacted her in the early 80's when we were both still single -- I would gladly have married her without a second thought and certainly never left her. How different our lives would have been! Worse of all, I can't get rid of a growing certainty that she was the person I had been 'meant' to marry; seeing her again, I have come to realize she is the only woman I have ever truly loved with all my heart and soul -- which is a devastating realization given that I'm married! I still don't know whether she ever really loved me or now just regrets leaving me because she has no one else.

    I was so convinced God had brought us together for a reason -- we have been living and working for decades within km of each other; her kids went to university in the town I live in and the younger son works there still. Such things don't happen by coincidence. Our lives have been moving in close yet, non-intersecting circles until now. And now that I have found her again, she has broken off all contact! I don't know what to think: I just can't understand her behaviour -- we're not young anymore; isn't having someone who cares for you better than being alone?

    I do believe in God and I believe that He is in control of our lives; but I also know that her days may be numbered -- two rounds of cancer, nine years apart doesn't bode well. I would so much like to give her some joy, bring her some happiness, but I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. I have written her a few text messages since April, to let her know that I pray for her and her sons and that she is in my heart and thoughts, but have not received any reply. Her silence seems to suggest I should leave her alone; I intend to send her flowers and a card for her birthday in June, but if I don't hear back, I intend to stop contacting her afterwards.

    I am at a complete loss; what did I do wrong? How could a miracle like finding one another after forty-three years be cast away like so much trash? I pray that God will reveal His will to me, as right now all is darkness I am so desperate for some good to come from this. I love this woman more than life itself; but I haven't a clue what to think, or what to do You stated, "I just have a hard time forgetting about the friendship.

    I wish I hadn't dedicated my 4 years of life to this one person. I have faith in God that He will help me get through but it may take some time and hopefully not too long It can be so tempting to think you have wasted those four years of your life by pouring into this friendship. I have had similar feelings before as well. Truthfully, though, we all need to focus on what's true and right, and the reality is that anytime you invest in a friendship in this life, you learn and grow as a person, and become who you are meant to be.

    So please don't think of those four years as a waste of time. He will use it to His glory, if you allow Him to. I'm glad to hear that you do have other healthy friendships and that you're getting the support you need right now to get through this. One day at a time, and whenever this person pops into your head, take a minute to pray for them. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Thank you so much for your encouraging comment. I truly cherish uplifting and supportive people! God bless and thanks again for taking the time to be a blessing.

    Eight years is a long time to be best friends with someone! I want to start by saying that I'm truly sorry to hear the hurt this whole situation has caused you. It is never easy dealing with these types of scenarios, but the fact that she's a family member makes it even tougher. Were you ever able to address any of the problems in the friendship with her? For example, you mentioned that she never remembered your birthday and you usually paid when you went out to restaurants.

    Could you possibly go out to coffee with her and address these things? I would sit down with her, and lay it out there. Speak the truth in love. Say, "You know, I have always made it a point to remember your birthday, and it hurt me in the past that you did not reciprocate that. I also don't mind paying for lunch sometimes, but the following time I would like you to pay, to make it fair.

    I do miss your friendship, but until these things are worked out, it is just too difficult for me not to feel hurt and resentful. At that point, you tried your best and that's really all you can do. Be polite to her at family functions, say hi, and move on. She seems like she has some maturing to do. Pray over it and definitely give the outcome over to God. I hope it works out! Recently my friendship ended with a "best friend.

    I was the one always there from her family problems, to relationships. I was the one to be there always. I had gotten myself way too attached to her and her family. This year she decided to start seeing her old friends in which for some reason all of them don't like me. I had a career change myself this year and she wasn't able to handle my problems for few months. She started to believe that I was becoming toxic.

    It has been 1 month since she decided to cut the friendship off. I tried contacting her and all she says to me is "it is my life. I did everything possible. There is nothing I can do. I just have a hard time forgetting about the friendship. I have faith in God that He will help me get through but it may take some time and hopefully not too long.

    I do have friends that are supporting me and helping me get through this rough time as well. If any suggestions do let me know. Such a tough situation to be in. Yes, it's painful, but what marvelous advice you've presented here for handling an experience like this. I have a weird situation where the best friend I cut off is related to me. This was s toxic friendship I had to escape from. Everything was about her. We were best friends for 8 years she couks never remember my birthday and I often paid when we did go out.

    Whenever she would get upset with me she would disappear, ignore my calls or texts for weeks then reappear like nothing happened. I started seeing a therapist after becoming really down and focused on bringing myself up and into a positive place. When I started seeing a therapist she stopped talking to me. I literally walked away when she referred to me again as weak. I got up and walked away. Unlike this article and the other commenters she never reached out to me. I would see her at family events and she would say hi and I would say hi and that was it.

    I was upset and hurting and wanted to maintain distance with her. I felt stupid and decided I was truly fine with her. Months after that I found out she was pregnant I debated for a few weeks then decided to text her. She responded I wish you the best as well. Months after that I saw her a few times at family events and her behavior has been bizarre. I leave this events feeling sad and to blame for everything. I often contemplate reaching out to her despite her never having reached out to me. Wow, what a painful situation. You said you don't know what to do. Well, you came to the right place as there are a lot of others here who are in the same boat as you, and I too have obviously experienced it!

    Pray for your friend! Give up the situation to God. That is really all you can do. If, looking honestly at the situation, you did not do anything wrong that you know of and you tried to be a good friend, then there's nothing more you can do. Perhaps someday, this person will come back around and the whole thing will get resolved. If not, trust that it happened for a reason and do your best to move on. Wishing you many blessings and encouragement today!

    So this very close friend of mine cut me off fairly recently, and I definitely had no idea what was happening until today; I lost my phone Tuesday, so I obviously can't get any messages. I tried talking to her Wednesday and she would look me in the eye and not reply which at first made me think "can she not hear me? For example, this morning she was at a locker near mine and i asked her if i had done anything wrong and why she was ignoring me but she just laughed and walked away. I later asked a mutual friend of ours whats wrong with her and he simply stated "She said she texted you that she doesn't f with you anymore" and I was and still am really confused.

    He went on to say that she was talking to everyone about how I was fake and a horrible friend and that she cut me off because i went against her wishes about being friends with someone. Now here's where things get iffy - anyone who knows the real story she does too knows that she specifically stated she does not care about any of her friends friendship with this person as long as they do not talk to her directly.

    Exact words "I don't care if you guys talk, are best friends, aren't friends, just keep them away from me," and I only know this because she mentioned this multiple times before AND we had a text conversation, so I was really tripped on that. I don't understand how a person could do such a thing, she was one of my closest friends and she back stabbed me and is throwing me under the bus for a fake issue But, I don't know what to do!

    Quotes on Friendship To Warm Your Best Friend's Heart

    Oh man, I'm so sorry your friend was so unsupportive and ended up cutting you off like that. It sounds like with the issues going on in her own relationship, she projected onto you and couldn't handle it. Maybe she was afraid you would make similar mistakes that she did, etc?

    How do you move on, you ask? Well, it is kind of like the break-up of a romantic relationship, in the sense that someone who was a big part of your life is now no longer in the picture In time, the wound will get easier to bear, although I have to say that the hurt never fully goes away. As you nurture other friendships and your relationship with God, your heart can begin the healing process. I'm so sorry to hear about your coworker friend who deleted you from FB.

    I wonder what scared him off? I had a situation like that once too, with a coworker, before I was married. We got to be great friends at work and would go out to lunch together sometimes. We decided to have dinner together at a restaurant one night. Then he stood me up! I was laid off from the company, but years later, ended up working there again.

    I tried to ask him what happened, but he never acknowledged it! It was so weird! He added me again on FB while I was employed by the company.

    When A Friend Cuts You Off, It Really Hurts....

    But then I got pregnant and that job ended I was covering for another employee who was on maternity leave. He deleted me again once I was not working for the company anymore. I guess we will sometimes never know what is going through a person's mind. We may just have to trust that God is working things out for the best! I realized I never responded to your question. I think if only one day has passed without contact, the person may just want a break, like you said. Or they may just be busy or forgetful.

    If you text someone, for example, and they don't respond right away or at all they may have just gotten busy and forgotten to respond. I'm not sure if that's what you're referring to, but I hope everything works out with your friend: I know what you mean about tainted memories. I do try to focus on the good though, and consider that those times were still special and important in shaping the person I am today. But it is hard to look back and realize that the person you thought you knew, may not be the same as you thought.

    Keep your chin up. I had a best friend for 40 years. Her husband cheated on her and I found out about it first, but just days before she did. I felt horrible for her and my heart broke. Her husband turned it around to make me look like the bad guy. She started yelling at me and telling me how bad my boyfriend was to me and what a piece of garbage he was. I knew she was hurting and needed someone to blame. I stood by her and told her that if she loved him and wanted to give him a second chance that was her choice. Eventually, I confronted her and said how she hurt me with her comments about my boyfriend, who isn't perfect and neither am I, but I love him.

    I would never tell her I hated her husband, even though I did. I mean, he cheated on her for years with more than one woman. This was in her home and her bed. We finally patched things up and I really thought our friendship was unbreakable. A few months had passed and I got engaged. I told her the news and she said she didn't approve. Later we picked a wedding date and I hesitated to tell her, because I knew how she felt.

    She ended our friendship. I am totally crushed.

    Remember, in Your Grieving, Not to Despair

    I have been friends with her for, since the 3rd grade and we never fought and were so close. I cried my heart out. I still can't believe her. She was a big part of my world and she just cut me off. How do you move on from that? Thank you, your article is comforting. But this refers to a guy friend that I used to work with. A couple of years ago when we met, and worked together, it was like working with an angel. What I mean is I was going through a terrible time with my ex-husband..

    He was such a gentleman. Of course, a crush ensued. I could tell he had feelings for me as well. He was younger though, and shy. However, the connection was there, no doubt. Needless to say, we just stayed friends. I have no idea why?! I'm hurt because it's as if he saw that I was active, and got rid of me at that very moment. But this hurts nonetheless! She was in my wedding a few years back we were the best best best friends in college and she has just ignored me for a couple of years. I feel disconnected and am not sure why. Never heard back and found out she unfriended me on fb.

    I keep trying to figure out all the things that could have made her do this but really the issue lies with her, not me. It hurts a lot though and I feel like a lot of good memories are tainted now.

    I love that bible verse you referenced! Yes, it is so hurtful when a friend you love and have so much in common with decides to cut you off. Sometimes it takes a great deal of time before that friendship can be restored, and sometimes it is still never the same as it once was.

    However, all things are certainly possible with the Lord! Praying for you and the friend you are missing. At least you know you've done all you could and that it's in the Lord's hands now! I thank God for you and what you said. I had a friend who I cherished and I felt we had so much in common with each other. I said somethings to her that she felt hurt her feelings. I apologized over and over again. I told her that I was angry and hurt too.

    She stopped taking my calls and my messages. I finally talked to her and she was still cold to me. You gave the greatest advice pray. God says in his word pray for those that despitefully use you. I pray that one day she will in return forgive me. I pray peace for her and me and I pray love and prosperity. I can move on now knowing it was a season and just like the weather seasons pass.

    You make some valid points. A person should definitely make sure that he or she is being a good friend and that the friendship is mutually supportive. However, you mentioned that to this day, she probably "still doesn't know" why you cut her out of your life. It would be beneficial if you explained to her why you ended the friendship, so that she could hopefully learn from that and not repeat those mistakes in future friendships.

    I've been the one to cut a friendship off before and sometimes it really is the other person's fault. Sometimes frustration builds up over time or you realize that your "friend" isn't really a true friend or a healthy influence in your life. In my case the person talked behind my back constantly but was sweet to my face, she didn't know all the people she talked about me to were coming and telling me everything she said. It's a must read for anyone that has lost a friend or parent. It will give you answers that you may not have thought about. It will touch your heart and you will learn from their experiences.

    It also shows you what you can do if you suffer conflict with your friend's wife or girlfriend". Jonathan Runy "I couldn't put this book down! It spoke to me and a lifetime of my thinking that I had lost several of my friends because it was my fault. Finally, somebody wrote about the pain of losing a friend as well as the deeper meanings of friendships". Howard Jones "Relationships are the cornerstones of our lives. Losing a friend or family member is one of the biggest traumas we face in life.

    This collage of stories about losing a friend provides you with tools to deal with your own heartbreak. Whatever your age or situation, you will find this book profoundly interesting as well as touching. Read it to help you with your own friendship issues". Read more Read less.

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    Even with advance notice, the process is daunting, especially, as this author has so eloquently compiled, in a insightful compendium of 21 real life stories, each taking up a chapter in the book, about losing one's best friend. We emotional creatures often travel great distances and experience vast changes in our lives, so that the definition of who may at any one time be "your best friend" varies. But this author is really giving his readers a self help book, one which offers the experiences of so many, whether you are very young, in high school, in later life, or watching someone abuse himself or herself with alcohol or die in an unexpected accident.

    Learning is best done through stories, not rote or instruction in a classroom and this book will give you the grace and understanding to come to a place in life where you can accept the bare naked fact that life is intrinsically unfair. Deal with that fact and get on with your life in a constructive and life renewing way. This book will help you do exactly that. Once you read this book, in which you get the stories the author tells from 21 real life persons, you will surely get perspectives which can help you when the next episode of grief hits you.

    One doesn't have to give up a best friend after he or she dies, because the human memory bank allows the traces of their presence in your life to carry you beyond the grief to a place where you may long for their direct presence, but cherish the times which made them so close to you. I suggest you buy several copies to keep ready for use in your "friendship grief inventory"! The complex and multi-dimensional author, Mr.