Yes, society and our own human genomes may prefer the power and attractiveness of youth, but the dynamics regarding these "preferences" are vastly different among men and women, especially with age. In men, I have heard in my 35 years on this earth and I do not think I will ever stop hearing middle-aged 45 years and older men wistfully recalling the great "glory days" of their youth. But come on, when it comes to men and women and "old age", men have the overall advantage and it is that the older the man, the more preferred he is by women and those around him.
When it comes to age men are like wine, women are like bread-which would you prefer, a glass of full-bodied aged wine or a piece of "stale" bread? And let's not forget, men can father children into their 80s provided that they reach that age frame-in other words, men can potentially sire kids until the day they die.
Yeah, men may be crying at 45 that the "great life is over", but the bottom line is that inspite of being out of their prime, men's opportunities as they age are greater than those for women as they age. Women, as you know, feel these feelings which you so wonderfully described in your article not at as men, but guess when: Women have such a short time to find someone with whom to "pass on their genes" as compared to men.
And it really bothers us that the men typically want the girls fresh out of high school or college as their mates as opposed to the women in their 30s, most whom are actually ready both mentally and financially to have babies. To many women, not being able to have a baby for one reason or another is the equivalent of "no matter what I do, my life is over. The bottom line is that we all have some kind of purpose here-some of us find it early, some find it later in life.
And let's face it: Mates for both sexes were plenty inspite of the limited "pool" because it was expected that only the strongest and healthiest which ended up being few anyway would get together and pass on their genes to thier offspring. Today it's the exact opposite-a huge world with lots of virtual contacts, lots of POTENTIAL opportunities potential because it depends on how good-looking, smart, "capable" you appear to be to someone else , endless choices all in both sickness and in health.
And inspite of this modern "huge" world, our immediate social world is just as limited as it was in times past.. Is it any wonder you have the feelings about which you write? I do agree with you that the most important gift we all have going for us across the board is our limited world of loved ones, this includes ourselves. Don't take them or yourself for granted, ever.
Life can just as easily end at 21 as it can at 48 or Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I give you my best regards. Many thanks for your insightful and comprehensive comment - virtually a post in itself - with which I agree almost entirely. I think that, while men and women age differently, we all finally confront the process and our mortality in similar ways, perhaps, as you say, on different schedules. If life is, as it appears to me, "a flicker of consciousness between two great silences," we are all left to decide which of our many choices have some prospect of meaning that lasts even a little while.
Hi again Gordon, I thnk you are absolutely right. All the more reason to not take ourselves or our loved ones for granted; instead, make the most of our limited time here. I sometimes wonder how different we would all be in mind the physical differences would be pretty obvious in a continuous state of youth and good health if we were immortals, not having to worry about old age, sickness, or death.
Even now, most of us inspite of knowing that someday we will leave this world, we think and at times speak in terms of "forever" or "eternity". We have no physical experience of forever, yet mentally we grasp the concept.. Have you ever wondered what life would be like in terms of immortality? Livingston, Thank you for your article. If I could I'd like to toss out a different idea to Heather. I am 51 and find that because our society in general discounts women of my age and older, I've taken on a sort of invisibility which I've found to be very freeing and full of opportunity.
I am much more able to do now the things I want with much less scrutiny than in my younger years. That is such a blessing in the "you ought to be in pictures" world in which we all currently live. Just letting folks know that silver linings are everywhere. Thanks again, Ann Albert. I liked your post. I hold this "Perhaps it is enough to have loved those we could, done as little harm as possible, and grown old with enough courage to give hope to or at least amuse the small audience who cared enough about us to pay attention". It is, to develop our human potentials as best as we could.
Karl Marx said something similar and he stated he wanted to have a job that allows him to make happy as many people as possible It really doesn't matter whether you are a great researcher who discovers something fantastic that changes the world for the good, or a great musician who composes immortal masterpieces, or whatever sort of achievement that would change human history. We are so external oriented. We want proofs that we are succesful: All that is unimportant. The measure by which you should consider your life is a succes is internal.
How much of a human being you are? Have you developed your core values? How compassionate you are? How generous you are? How giving you are? Do you feel uneasy at other people suffering at the other side of the planet? Do you care for others as much as you care for you and your beloveds? How much you have learned from the old people around you? How much love have you given?
Have you enjoyed the wonder of staring the sky at the night? Have you enjoyed a simple walk no need for a fancy sporty expensive car? Have you educated yourself so you are able to appreciate the beauty in life? Have you learned to exploit your human potential instead of learning to exploit other people for your convenience?
If you were given two eyes, have you uesd them to enjoy nature? If you were given two arms, have you used them to help others? If you were given education, have you used it for the good of many people? If you are given a brain, have you used it to think about other's suffering instead of just thinking about you? If you were given a hearth, have you used it to love? If by the time we are old we regret we can not play golf anymore or that we are unable of make happy three lovers at a time, or play chess masterfully or dance till the end of night, then we surely missed the point about what life is all about.
We should not regret anything like that. All that means nothing. We are born humans only as a pontential. By the time we are born, we are just given the chance to become humans, we are humans only biologically speaking but not thoroughly. The purpose in life is to become as humane as possible. Next you get flanked by a squad of side benefits: Interestingly, all items of mail suddenly also become free. Married members of the military receive extra pay to take care of their families and spouses. There are many reasons the military divorce rate is sky high, might this be one of the contributing factors?
Finally, it needs to be stated that your expenses are essentially zero. There is nothing to buy in the middle of the desert! Food, clothes, living places are all provided without charge. There are no utilities, insurance payments, or toll booths. Everything you make is pure income and there are no opportunities for a unit to spend their hard earned money. This leads to the returning military members having a sizable amount of money on hand and close to a year to think how to spend it. Did I also mention that most of these warriors are pretty young?
Sergeant B went out in a blaze of glory. Sergeant B, like the war hero he is, took it upon himself to have a night of nights and blew eight months of salary in a night. To this day people remember him fondly and mention his name in passing when speaking of legends. The Pyrrhic Victory of it was that Sergeant B simply had too good of a time and cannot remember what happened that night.
On the upside he has a lifetime of people telling him how amazing it was. Unlike many big talkers, he stood by his guns and purchased that vehicle when he returned, the culmination of his endeavors. Unfortunately two things destroyed his paradise. His beloved was repossessed. As for myself, upon my return from the land of the burning, burning sand, I enacted my own evil plan. I bought a new set of eyes figuratively: In recognition of this difficulty, thanks again Sam for all the free, but quality, advice posted here! Personally, I just let it go yes, something similar has happened to me: I also believe that you reap what you sow so my former employer will ultimately pay for how they treated me and others.
But I appreciate the out-of-the box thinking. Should send you a very interesting group of search result traffic. Everybody thinks everything is a ton of work, so people tend not to do anything about it. The reality is, people see what they want to see. Recognize the egos, temptations, personalities. You can do so much if you improve your awareness skills!
I have never heard of such a strategy — sounds like something for people with too much time on their hands. Show them what they lost. Plus… how would you know what happened if you never speak to ex-colleagues? Its much better to harness that anger and direct it to something that will benefit you personally. Subsequently I was given the cold shoulder by colleagues and managers and overlooked twice on promotions. The interview experience I honed was invaluable as I leapt from one company to the next, upping my salary with each move. I also used the anger to get myself through CFA, adding qualifications to my CV and knowledge to my skillset.
My gross salary is five times what it was then. I had never thought about revenge let alone plotting it, but from time to time I do let myself indulge in thinking about how I was wronged and pat myself on the back for deciding to act in my own interests, rather than for the sake of ego. The person who left the company was the head of the department. He hired the human virus, knowing she was weak before he left. Three people ended up leaving. And the person he hired was fired 2. He got his revenge. A very vicious strategy… Never heard off… Could be a great movie to watch…!
Let me know when it hits the box office!
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I prefer the strategy you mention: He hired a couple people to replace me and paid them waaaay more than me. They were his buddies I think. Fast forward a month or two and my boss got fired because he hired his own people. I bumped into my former boss at, off all places, the Walmart in the ghetto not sure why he was there; buying crack maybe??
There are inherent biases people have that make people do irrational things. I hate the company that canned me. After many hours of job hunting I find a position that I feel way over qualified for, but the job is in my industry manufacturing and It would be great experience so I send in my resume. After 3 months of silence I get a reply from them asking for a phone interview with HR.
That goes well so they give me more phone interviews with upper management who sound very impressed with my previous work experience I feel very confident at this point. I show up right on time, meet with the managers, and the interview…. I came out disappointed. But then things got better. Another position has since taken its place as my dream job out of college. They pay you while your still at school. Thus, my senior year I will make more money than almost anyone at the company I originally applied to while getting educated.
Once I graduate, the pay is higher, than at the previous company. And, they will offer to pay a substantial amount of money to continue my education with a masters degree a few years down the road. Plus, I can start building my net worth in the next few months in the positive direction instead of the next few years. It closed one door, but opened up so many more opportunities. Opportunities that are a magnitude better.
Sure, a company may make you feel like dirt when they fire you and close that door. But instead of thinking how to burn that door to the ground with the biggest flamethrower you got, I thinks its better to take that time to find doors so much bigger and better than before. Take it as an opportunity to forward yourself.
Sounds like this is your 3rd or 4th internship? They come up in many different forms. Once you get the opportunity, make the most of it. I knew I had won the lottery, so I worked my ass off and saved. The only thing I focused on was proving to myself, and to my employers they did not make a mistake hiring a kid from a non-target public school. Good luck in your journey! However, its been a great experience and my co-workers are superb. I also agree with you, at this level showing gratitude is probably the best way to succeed in this position. As the company knows your skills are limited, by being committed to the position, working hard, and just being a great co-worker will make you the most successful.
One observation I have made in the college job search is the importance of internships. Thanks for the reply!
Your posts have been very helpful for me as I prepare to enter the workforce. With your advice, and my current job prospects, I now see a way to eradicate the extensive student debt asap and start investing. I have never heard of this corporate revenge strategy. I find it interesting that you where able to find a human virus who really cared that you were fired. When I have a job, I feel that I am the talent.
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I spend time in developing my skills so that I can be an excellent employee. When I leave a job, I feel the talent has left. With a good reputation, skill and talent you can find another job. Nowadays jobs are not loyal to their employees. As an employee, you should not feel obligated to be loyal to the job. I think you should do your best on a job because it is your job. Get on with your life. Put up barriers and get on with things as you always do.
Even if you're stuck in a jam because of what someone has done to you, hold your head up high and don't let them see how it has hurt you. The sweetest revenge can be getting on with your life and living a better one than the person who inflicted pain on you. If you have to see the person on a regular basis, plan out great stories to tell about yourself to illustrate how well you're doing, how great your life is.
If someone embarrassed you at work or school, talk about your great weekend out on the town with your huge crew of interesting friends, or the cool bike trip you took. Block the person on social networking. If someone bullies you on Facebook, or constantly bombards you with irritating Tweets or Instagram photos, don't let it remain a part of your life. Unfriend them, unfollow them, and block them. You can even report them if their actions violate the site's policies.
Don't let silly minor irritations become big sources of conflict. Before long, the memory of their irritating humble brags and conspicuous photos of them with your ex will fade into a distant memory. It can be tempting to get into a mud-slinging contest online, trading wall posts and having chat-style arguments in public.
Try to avoid this as much as possible. That stuff doesn't go away, and there's no point in getting sucked into a potentially embarrassing public argument with someone who's not worth your time. Don't help the person when they need it. This works particularly well in work environments, or any situation in which you're constantly criticized for your honest attempts at help, or at doing your job.
How To Get Revenge From An Old Employer Who Fired You
Let them work out for themselves what it's like to fix things without you. They'll get the message. If you're working on a group project in school and everyone's making fun of your efforts, pull back and work on your own. When it comes time for the due date to roll around, let the teacher know your group decided to not back you up. If one of your siblings, roommates, or your partner criticized some of your efforts around the house, stop doing the laundry or the dishes altogether and let them know they're more than welcome to take on the job themselves.
Consider taking legal action. If the situation warrants it, let the authorities handle cases in which you've been emotionally or physically tormented.
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Keep records and a chronological list of all the things that have happened and discuss pressing charges. If someone borrowed your car and dented it or borrowed money and never paid you back, detail everything. Keep receipts, written promises, emails, etc. Then go see a lawyer or the police and ask what your chances are of getting an arrest or taking an action for theft, embezzlement, vandalizing, stalking, conversion, or defamation. Always keep your revenge legal. If you want to exact revenge on someone, never cross the line.
Vigilantes rightfully end up in jail and harming another isn't going to solve anything. Stay within the law and within your own conscience too. Stealing someone's mail may be thrilling in the moment, but it's also a federal crime. Is that worth it? Show the other person up. If they've opened you up to harm, don't hold back speaking your mind around them.
Use your wit to make passing comments about the other person's attitude or lack of it.
8 ingenious ways people have got revenge on an ex-lover
Insult them to their face. Being picky or nasty means you stoop to their level. It can also be tiring constantly observing them and finding ways to pick them apart. It's likely that they'll resort to doing the same too, so this can backfire and result in a circle of Hatfield-and-McCoy style revenges. Prove to them that they are wrong. If the person undermined you, be the real deal in all times. If someone tried to undermine you by spreading gossip about you that stopped your promotion, work harder than ever to get that promotion during the next quarter.
Work hard and keep your distance from that person until management realizes it was just gossip and that you're the real deal. Be the real deal in all situations. Create a situation where the person who hurt you looks or appears clumsy, disorganized, or uncoordinated.
Getting Old Is The Best Revenge - RITA LAKIN
Without letting your target know you wish to inflict damage, remaining as quiet and subtle as possible, observe your prey until you can target a distinct weakness or pattern. Use it to your advantage, it could be anything: A job, a joke, a seat, a car, a notebook, a room, a door, and even the people around them.
When the time is right, spring into action. If your enemy constantly brags about their accomplishments during group lunches, or during a particular class, beat them to the punch by taking control of the conversation. Don't let them talk. If your enemy always likes to pull a Gwyneth Paltrow and play the holier-than-thou card, monitor every slip up and failure and subtly bring it to the forefront. When the anti-gluten environmentalist nutcase on your dorm floor ever uses a plastic cup, spring into action: Kill 'em with kindness.