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The accumulated burps of ten average cows could keep a small house adequately heated and its stove operating for a year.


During a severe windstorm or rainstorm the Empire State Building sways several feet to either side. In the last 3, years, there have been approximately years of peace throughout the civilized world. The Black Death reduced the population of Europe by one third in the period from to The average person spends about two years on the phone in a lifetime. Length of beard an average man would grow if he never shaved A full-loaded supertanker traveling at normal speed takes at least 20 minutes to stop. Coca-Cola was originally green. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

Average number of days a West German goes without washing his underwear: If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, he went through "the whole 9 yards", hence the term. Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation. In the early s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to mobile services like two-way radios in taxis but did not re-number the other channel assignments.

Firehouses have circular stairways originating from the old days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

If the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. The expression 'to get fired' comes from long ago Clans that wanted to get rid of unwanted people, so they would burn their houses instead of killing them, creating the term 'Got fired'.

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight in case of war or emergency, they could be used as airstrips. The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army. The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary, because when it was built in the s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. Honking of car horns for a couple that just got married is an old superstition to insure great sex. Kellogg introduced Kellogg's Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation. The sperm of a mouse is actually longer than the sperm of an elephant. In medieval France, unfaithful wives were made to chase a chicken through town naked. The Black Widow spider eats her mate during or after sex.

Eating the heart of a male Partridge was the cure for impotence in ancient Babylon. A bull can inseminate cows from one single ejaculation. When a Hawaiian woman wears a flower over her left ear, it means that she is not available. The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards. The only nation whose name begins with an "A", but doesn't end in an "A" is Afghanistan. The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: The only letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten. Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan. PEZ candy even comes in a Coffee flavor. Non-dairy creamer is flammable. The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. The average person will accidentally eat just under a pound of insects every year.

Until , world maps and globes sold in Albania only had Albania on them. The value of Pi will be officially "rounded down" to 3. The Great Wall of China is the only man-made structure visible from space. A piece of paper can be folded no more then 9 times. The amount of computer Memory required to run WordPerfect for Win95 is 8 times the amount needed aboard the space shuttle.

The average North American will eat 35, cookies during their life span. The most common name in world is Mohammed. Most toilets flush in E flat. Each month, there is at least one report of UFOs from each province of Canada. It takes about The serial number of the first MAC ever produced was It is illegal to eat oranges while bathing in California. If done perfectly, a rubix cube combination can be solved in 17 turns. The average American butt is More bullets were fired in 'Starship Troopers' than any other movie ever made.

The name of the girl on the statue of liberty is Mother of Exiles. There's a systematic lull in conversation every 7 minutes. There are 1, steps from the ground floor to the top of the Empire State building. The world's record for keeping a Lifesaver in the mouth with the hole intact is 7 hrs 10 min. There are ways to make change for a dollar. The world record for spitting a watermelon seed is 65 feet 4 inches. In the Philippine jungle, the yo-yo was first used as a weapon. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Texas is also the only state that is allowed to fly its state flag at the same height as the U. There is a town in Newfoundland, Canada called Dildo. The Boston University Bridge on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.

In space, astronauts are unable to cry, because there is no gravity and the tears won't flow. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. There are more plastic flamingos in the U. S that there are real ones. The crack of a whip is actually a tiny sonic boom, since the tip breaks the sound barrier. Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets in our solar system combined. Hot water is heavier than cold. Lawn darts are illegal in Canada. There are more psychoanalysts per capita in Buenos Aires than any other place in the world. Between 2 and 3 jockeys are killed each year in horse racing.

The average woman consumes 6 lbs of lipstick in her lifetime.

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Conception occurs most in the month of December. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace. On average, Americans' favorite smell is banana. If one spells out numbers, they would have to count to One Thousand before coming across the letter "A". Honey is the only food which does not spoil.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches years of age. In , a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die. If you went out into space, you would explode before you suffocated because there's no air pressure. The only real person to ever to appear on a pez dispenser was Betsy Ross. Only 6 people in the whole world have died from moshing. In a test performed by Canadian scientists, using various different styles of music, it was determined that chickens lay the most eggs when pop music was played.

The storage capacity of human brain exceeds 4 Terabytes. In Vermont, the ratio of cows to people is Any free-moving liquid in outer space will form itself into a sphere, because of its surface tension. The average American looks at eight houses before buying one. In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator. Koala is Aboriginal for "no drink". Shakespeare spelled his OWN name several different ways. The first contraceptive was crocodile dung used by the ancient Egyptians. A signature is called a John Hancock because he signed the Declaration of Independence.

Only 2 people signed the declaration of independence on July 4.

The Last person signed 2 years later. Arnold Schonberg suffered from triskaidecaphobia, the fear of the number He died at 13 minutes from midnight on Friday the 13th. Mozart wrote the nursery rhyme 'twinkle, twinkle, little star' at the age of 5. Virginia Woolf wrote all her books standing. Einstein couldn't speak fluently until after his ninth birthday. His parents thought he was mentally retarded. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

Deborah Winger did the voice of E. Kelsey Grammar sings and plays the piano for the theme song of Fraiser. Thomas Edison, acclaimed inventor of the light bulb, was afraid of the dark. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

You can sail all the way around the world at latitude 60 degrees south. The earth weighs around 6,,,,,,,,, tons. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. Porcupines can float in water. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4: Almonds are a member of the peach family.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": Tigers not only have striped fur, they have striped skin! In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is On the ground, a group of geese is a gaggle, in the sky it is a skein.

To Ensure Promptness, one is expected to pay beyond the value of service — hence the later abbreviation: When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city. A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

A dime has ridges around the edge.

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On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1"encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. Rogers is an ordained minister. John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles. There are dimples on a regulation golf ball. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A snail can sleep for three years. All polar bears are left-handed.

10+ Moms With A Sense Of Humor | Bored Panda

China has more English speakers than the United States. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. February is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you will have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. In the last years, no new animals have been domesticated. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors. The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in the English language. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the s lobbied against hemp farmers they saw it as competition.

Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'. Some lions mate over 50 times a day. Starfish haven't got brains. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. The name of all continents in the world end with the same letter that they start with. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States. The longest word comprised of one row on the keyboard is: You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

The average person spends 12 weeks a year 'looking for things'. The symbol on the "pound" key is called an octothorpe.. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle. Ingrown toenails are hereditary. T he longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is: The longest place-name still in use is: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiakitnatahu, a New Zealand hill. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.

It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery. Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays. Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy. The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers. Steely Dan got their name from a sexual device depicted in the book 'The Naked Lunch'. The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharoh Ramses II who fathered over children. There is a seven letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball. The male gypsy moth can "smell" the virgin female gypsy moth from 1. The word "dexter" whose meaning refers to the right hand is typed with only the left hand. To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles. Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning "containing arsenic. The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat," which means "the king is dead.

The first episode of "Joanie Loves Chachi" was the highest rated American program in the history of Korean television, a country where "Chachi" translates to "penis". Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. The national anthem of Greece has verses. No one in Greece has memorized all verses. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world. Giraffes have no vocal cords. The pupils of a goat's eyes are square. Van Gogh only sold one painting when he was alive.

10+ Moms With A Sense Of Humor

A standard slinky measures 87 feet when stretched out. If a rooster can't fully extend its neck, it can't crow. There were always 56 curls in Shirley Temple's hair. The eyes of a donkey are positioned so that it can see all four feet at all times. Worcestershire sauce in essentially an Anchovy Ketchup. Rhode Island is the only state which the hammer throw is a legal high school sport. The average lifespan of an eyelash is five months. A spider has transparent blood. Every acre of American crops harvested contains pounds of insects. Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or. Log In Don't have an account?

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Show them how it's done. John L 1 year ago I don't know who I am impressed with most: Sreejith 1 year ago burn. Pandykinz 1 year ago "Another. John L 1 year ago Too bad you can't make him do the dishes. Subscribe to our newsletter. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! What do you think? Karl Stoll 1 year ago I was blessed to have a funny mom.

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Karin Sumbler 1 year ago Before, only the funny mom's family and friends knew of her jokes. Rob Stowell 1 year ago As with most stories of this kind it has eventually turned into a Man vs Woman competition. Subscribe to our top stories Subscribe.